1 Şubat 2009 Pazar

The 3. Conversation (High Fidelity)

".... You have potential. I'm here to bring it out."

"Potential as what?"
"As a human being. You have all the basic ingredients. You're really very likeable, when you put your mind to it. You make people laugh, when you can be bothered, and you're kind, and when you decide you like someone then that person feels as though she's the centre of the world, and that's a very sexy feeling. It's just that most of the time you can't be bothered."
"No," is all I can think of to say.
"You just . . . you just don't do anything. You get lost in your head, and you sit around thinking instead of getting on with something, and most of the time you think rubbish. You always seem to miss what's really happenning."
"This is the scond Simply Red song on this tape. One's unforgivable. Two's a war crime. Can I fast forward?" I fast forward without waiting a reply. I stop on some terrible post-Motown Diana Ross thing, and I groan. Laura ploughs on regardless.

"Do you know that expression, 'Time on his hand and himself on his mind'? That's you."

"So what should I be doing?"

"I don't know. Something. Working. Seeing people. Running a scout troop, or running a club even. Something more than waiting for life to change and keeping your options open. You'd keep your options open for the rest of your life if you could. You'll be lying on your deathbed, dying of some smoking-related disease, and you'll be thinking, well, at least I've kept my options open. At least I never ended up doing something I couldn't back out of. And all the time you're keeping your options open, and you're closing them off. ...... .

See how you're denying yourself things?"

I know we nearly got somewhere; I know that if I had any guts I would tell her that she was right, and wise, and that I needed and loved her, and I would have asked her to marry me or something. It's just that, you know, I want to keep my options open.,

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